My new findings :)

Life is so fast changing. I feel odd sometimes when I have to take most of the decisions by myself now. Till engineering, there were people like KK who I can run up to and he will be there for me. I still don’t know why I am using these acronyms; it used to be mysterious for those who didn’t know. But thanks to KK that he has publicised it. I was really surprised by how he found out. Anyway after coming here when I was left all on my own, life seemed to be at a different plane.
I mess some things up and do well in other situations. I guess this is all part of growing up. Now days I don’t run up to others for all petty things. My mother is my support system.
I realise now that the most difficult part is living with your own self. Your life is what you make of it and how you choose it to be. When you mess up anything the truth is you yourself is to be blamed. That is why the toughest part is living with your own self. You are a result of your environment, up bringing and friends. I think, though the inside remains the same, the way you behave changes with your environment and people you are with. You learn to adapt yourself so quickly that you yourself forget the person who you were. Sometimes you hate yourself for the person you are and doing what you do,
If you think like that, then it is funny why people get divorced. They start living with each other and they change because of their spouse. So in the end, it is actually you yourself for a divorce. For that matter, any relation, be it friendship, love... anything. Stupid theory isn’t it?
When I was younger, my mother used to tell me that this is the best time in my life. I used to totally oppose that. I used to hate home works, going to school, tuitions and worst of all – exams. Life seemed a cake walk for my parents. All they have to do is work all day, they don’t even have home works, and they get their bank account refilled on the first of the month. Now I realize what she said. Life becomes more and more complex when you get older. Your relations become complex, your studies become complex, world around becomes complex, your life style becomes complex, you yourself becomes complex that it takes a lot of work to decipher you.
In this mad race for survival we miss out on so many things. But is it all just for survival or because man’s greed is never ending?

Another one of those days

So I am back in October. Exams are round the corner... that means tomorrow. I am down with a flu and trying my best with my usual dose of homeopathy, hot water, salt and calpol to stay as lightly affected as possible. This happens to me all the time during exams. This time its not my fault though. Thanks to Sreejith who was sneezing all the way next to me in the fin class. I am not blaming him... almost half of my class was down with flu. Thanks to the climate change here.
Now I am going through that period where I feel useless, left out and totally non productive. Seems like there is nothing worth while to focus in the future and also as if what ever i am doing is not bringing back the reward. This wait is going on for the past one year. Hope it really brings some nice juicy fruits in the end.
The good things happening is I called KK and was feeling really good hearing his cheerful sound once again. Good that he has got some interim relief.
I am just waiting to get the exams over and get my hands on the new camera that my dad is sending me. Yea, so i have one thing to look forward to.
The rat race will begin shortly with the placement seasons commencing in 2 months or so. I hope to come out alive. When I tell my family about the tension of a fresher struggling to manage a decent job in a B school expecting sympathy, I get the opposite treatment for having let go off 3 good job offers and going for MBA in the first place.
Anyway ... will keep posting and I need all prayers possible to come out of this happily.